Ok, well after that rant, I have a couple of positives. I often think its like squeezing a pimple - gotta get it out before you can move on - actually that doesnt work, but the image I like.
This morning I phoned up an interviewee who I had been trying to chase up for weeks, but guessed he had gone away. Found out he had scratched his cornea in the middle of PhD exams and had needed to go offline for a bit. He is still keen to do the interview.
And to take Anna's suggestion on board, I am going to try enrolling in a 2-day film workshop here in Toronto (this place is dripping film from every pore). There's also another short one for super 8 film I am thinking about. I wish I felt more confident about doing them, but that's the way it is for me!
(Haha, I think I can use the term "white-knuckling" it, like they do in AA).