Went to buy a new one but not quite enough on my travel card.
Was looking at my bank balance and thinking about my options. Have been thinking about teaching English in China, to get more money, but honestly I don't think I am extrovert enough.
What I really want to do is either work in Iraq, or do more video work.
When I didn't get the last job I applied for at the library (one of a few!) I was offered feedback. She said I should look at what I really wanted to do - the unspoken being that she knew the job I had applied for wasn't what I wanted.
She was right. It's just that what I want to do isn't easy to get, and I might not get it.
Was invited by the owner for drinks out on the patio tonight. It's a lovely outlook - the CN Tower and a park. The CN Tower lights up with different colours at night. Spent the evening with her, her partner and my French friend drinking Martinis and French wine. It's great to feel a little bit drunk sometimes and their stories again inspired me.
The owner is originally from Morocco and I was talking about how I was trying to teach myself Arabic. She was saying she forgot her Arabic for a while, but used Arabic songs to teach herself again. And the French lady, Chantal, was telling me about how she left her life behind in France to start a new one in Canada, and how it worked out so well.
I felt the same, like my life in NZ wasn't really living, more like an existence. I'm not sure I believe in God anymore to help me out like I used to, but I do need some kind of miracle or good luck to set me on a good path again. It seemed to happen for this French lady. Is just trying to follow your heart enough to start the magic?
I enquired about filming from the CN Tower to get some views of the city for the doco. I was told it would cost $1000 an hour. This is how the world works now. What chance have we against a world that only wants profit?
But fuck it, that's ridiculous. If I decide to film I'm going to go up there anyway. They can only ask me to leave.
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