Yesterday the father told me he would not do the interview I wanted with him and I got really upset as I have been waiting to do it since I arrived (and also because of stresses here and also no doubt because the film is now my whole reason for being..). He had promised a few times, twice here and once in Syria and I felt it would be core to any footage I shot here. I was cursing the Assyrians that day. It's often the case - they (mostly the men) enthusiastically say they will do something initially but when it comes down to it, they slip out of it somehow.
But he felt sorry for me, or something, and agreed to do it if I bought him some beers - dutch courage. So we did it today but it was a bit of a washout - felt like he was doing it under duress (which I guess he was) and lacked the candour and expressiveness he usually has. He also played down any difficulty the family was having, which I have been experiencing so much while here - his rants about not having enough money etc, the perpetual sense of slight misery as everyone is either tired from working shit jobs or the general claustrophobia from a small apartment and a lot of people in an environment that's crap.
This was the message I was trying to get through, so it was disappointing.
But at least it is done and I felt a huge surge of relief just afterwards that I can now move on.
Not an easy task you have taken on Helen!Maybe it will be that thing of things/opportunities arising rather than what you have planned and staying open to them?
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